In Florida, a man tried to steal a ferret by putting it in his pants. A witness confronted him in the parking lot and the man held the unhappy ferret up to the witness's face. In addition to theft, he's being charged with branishing a "special weapon" -- the ferret!
In New Jersey, a manatee was found in waters by an oil refinery. Since the water's too cold for a manatee in that area, he's being flown to Florida. I hope he doesn't get a middle seat -- I'm sure he'd use both of the arm rest!
36 inches of snow in the Denver area -- really? In October? I guess there's an advantage to living in the middle of the country after all.
A British couple, sleeping on their yacht, were taken by Somali pirates. I still think I deserve royalties -- they were all stealing my story!
U2 is planning a July 2010 concert in Soldiers Field again. Chicago Bears' groundkeepers are already planning the resodding of the field after the concert.
Bad economy? Then why are full face Halloween masks, the kind that cost upwards of $250 a piece, selling like crazy?
Americans Against Taxes on Food is running a commercial against proposed new taxes on "juice drinks and soda." And just what is of nutritional value in "juice drinks and soda"? You call that food?