A One-Year Plan

A friend of mine posted in her Live Journal about a question a co-worker asked her. What did she want to be doing in five years. That question got me thinking. I read the responses to her post, and posted a response myself, but today I began to consider what "I" wanted to be doing in five years; heck, what I wanted to be doing in One year. I know that circumstances may change, my interests may change but still, I should try to be working toward something. I also watched Nova last night, which aired a program about regular people, young, old, overweight, medically questionable, all preparing, over a nine month period, to run the Boston Marathon. They knew what they were working toward. Not everyone accomplished their goal, but they all worked,, hard, focused, toward it. Shouldn't I be working toward something, too?

So where do I want to be in one year? What do I want to be doing? I know that I want to write. Isn't that why I created this blog? To write? To practice? To figure out what my voice is, what my view is, what I have to say that is so different from anyone else. To do that, I need to write. And write. So that's what I'm going to do. I've been harboring some story ideas and want to get those ideas down on paper. Two of the stories are fan fiction, one story is for a novel. No, I don't think this will be "The Great American Novel." I don't have expectations that high and mighty. But it's a story, a quest, that sits with me, and walks with me, and ponders with me as I go about my life. It's a story of friendship, of life, of finding your way with the grace and dignity, the knowledge and intuition it takes to not screw things up too much.

And so I'm going to write, maybe not every day, but most days. I'm not going to try for perfection, there's no such thing. I'm not even going to try for good, that can come later. That's what revision is for. But to revise, to get to that stage, there needs to be something there, something to revise. And that's where I am. And that's where I start, where I begin a one year journey toward writing. My goal in the year isn't to get published, but to get finished. To start the three stories I've got in my head now, to finish those stories. By finishing these stories I make a step toward being what I hope to someday be: a writer.

Best Days

A short time ago I asked friends for some song recommendations. Some I had heard, some I hadn't. And that's where the fun comes in. To me, it seems as if we spend so much of our youth listening to music, having it be a very important part of our lives (who doesn't have memories that revolve around music?) and then have a time when it seems we separate from that part of ourselves for a brief time only to find it again. Perhaps it was "growing up" (whatever that term really means) when we go through a musical change.

I went through a stretch of time when music didn't hold much appeal, mostly I think because the radio stations in the place I was living were going through changes and played what seemed like weird music. Finding music again was a joy. And while I don't claim to be on top of the "latest" music today, I know I can ask people to give me some recommendations and I'll get music I haven't heard, some of which I'll like, and some not so much, but the newness is inspiring.

The constant changing, updating, next-new-thing keeps everyone somewhat unsettled, and yet music can be a unifying experience. As we grow we find our musical nitch, those songs, genres that speak to us, that we put on in the wee hours of the morning when we can't sleep, or when despair rears its ugly head. And yet new songs, new sounds find us, and take hold when we're not looking. Thank goodness for friends who say,"try this" or "here's a song you might like." I know I don't listen to the radio like I used to as a kid. I know the songs I like and am more likely to put on a cd, or listen to my iPod. But I've found new songs in ways I never used to before. Through this music, I've truly found the best days.

Don't Know Much About History

I guess I've always had an interest in history. I remember watching a repeat showing of Ken Burns' The Civil War back in 1991 at the same time the U.S. was bombing Bagdad at the beginning of Gulf War I. It provided a very unique view of the war we were just beginning, juxtaposed with a war from 130 years earlier.

During the just concluded quarter in my Writing and Intellectual Property in the Digital Age class, Shaun Slattery kept referring to a biography of Benjamin Franklin he was reading. He brought up the history of copyright, and the change in technology since Franklin's time.

Tonight, HBO is beginning a seven-part adaptation of David McCullough's John Adams. I watched a "Making of..." special they ran which discussed the authenticity the producers tried to bring to the production. They wanted people to know what it was really like in 1775, how difficult a choice rebellion was for the colonists.

I am currently reading Benedict Arnold's Navy by James L. Nelson and I just bought McCullough's book today. I need to read more history, learn more about our country's history, and world history, and understand how we got to where we are. I don't want to be one of those people who know more about popular culture than about what's going on in the world. I'm always horrified at the "man in the street" segments Jay Leno does, with the stupidity of people almost a badge of honor.

Can we afford not to be informed, whether it is current events or historical events? Is it true that those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it. The historical perspective presents a vastly different view of an event, a period. Discovering our own history will give us a perspective on today's world and may help us better understand the world and times we live in.

A Winter Rant

Today is the first day of meteorological spring. and for once, it doesn't feel too bad. It's been a winter of snow, and cold, and ice, that has turned into a late winter of snow, and cold, and ice, and potholes. Maybe we've been spoiled. Maybe the last few years have been too nice. Maybe it's just that we had a rather nice fall (and that I was traveling out of the area quite a bit during the fall). Or, maybe it's just because this winter has been wetter, and snowier, and greyer than usual. Maybe it's because the temperatures have been running below normal. Maybe it's because we went through a stretch during which everyone's car was "white" with salt.

Even the newscasters, both television and radio, are getting fed up with this weather. One radio guy, when discussing when the snow would go away, said, "May, it'll be gone by May." I hope we don't have to wait that long. Yes, it's been staying light longer--a sure sign that spring is on its way. Yes, the sun has been rising higher in the sky. Still, I shovelled once again yesterday, and more snow is predicted for this coming week, though temperatures have been moderating. It's time for a change.

But we're not quite there yet. We are on the cusp of a change. It's spring training, the start of a new year, a time to challenge the old, try out the new, a safe time of trial and error. It's the time before the change, when you're struggling to get out of the old, and into the new, and feeling all the while as if it may never happen. Then one day, in the midst of a busy life, you look up. The sun is shining, the sky is clear, the trees are budding, the season has started.

I'm not missing this change this year. I'm here, I'm ready, I'm going to be a part, I'm going to play a role. Winter has seen its days, be gone! Spring training is here, and my spirit is ready for a fresh, clean, unpotholed start!

A Strange New World

This past holiday season, the retail stores announced that they were having a bad season. People weren't buying. Sweaters sat on the tables, boots remained in stockrooms. It had been a mild autumn and people were not looking to buy "winter" items. Gas prices were over $3/per gallon, taking a bigger bite out of disposable income, businesses were continuing to downsize and offshore and consumers were being more cautious with their spending. By the end of the year, officials were beginning to talk of a slowdown in the economy. And there's the paradox.

Consumer spending drives our economy. The more we spend, the better the economy is. Yet, we keep hearing how we are being controlled by our "things," and HGTV has a show called Mission Organization for people with too much "stuff." Retail therapy is considered bad for people (yet apparently good for the economy).

Do our things really make us happier? Or is that all an illusion. How much stuff is too much. A friend of mine has roughly 3500 books, more than any one person could read. A PDA file is needed to keep track of the titles and authors to avoid duplication. Is it too much when you don't even know what you have?

I don't have the answers, but I know that I am working toward decluttering my life, getting rid of unnecessary things and making full use of the things I will keep. I don't believe you have to go the minimalist route in life, but having less isn't such a bad thing. Perhaps our economy needs to reinvent itself, become something more than a "thing" provider. We've entered a strange new world and it's going to be an interesting ride over the next several years.

Twinkle Twinkle

Twinkle Twinkle little lights
Hope you'll help us through these nights
Nights alone and oh so cold
Listening to the stories told.
Nights with friends so far away
Wishing for a better day.
Twinkle Twinkle little light
Please help make this holiday bright
Please fill a cup with something warm
And help us make it through the storm
With faith just like a little child
And with a countenance so mild.
Twinkle Twinkle little light
God help us now with all His might.

Possibilities

The other day I came across a reference to postmodernism that discussed the nihilism associated with it, the loss of self, the loss of values--but it also discussed the positive progressive aspects of the postmodern, that which lets go of what was lost, to move on, to move forward, to look at new possibilities.

These words spoke to me deeper than anything has in a long time. Loss is something we all experience in life--loss of friendships, loss of loved ones, loss of jobs, loss of self respect. There are many things I have lost in my life, and I realize I've been carrying around the sadness of those losses, the burden still on my shoulders even though I cannot do anything about it. I believe it's time to let it go, to free myself, to move forward toward new possibilities.

When I think about new possibilities, I get caught up in the language--Master the possibilities, the commercial said. But the commercials have also shown us the truly priceless things in life--being with friends, being with family, enjoying simple pleasures, smiling at the sunshine, enjoying the quiet patter of rain, finding joy in things others may seem strange. There are new possibilities out there for me, and for you.

Some losses are not so easy to release. Parts of those losses will be with me always; they are so deeply ingrained in me that to release them would also mean losing part of myself. I need to find a way to make these special losses different, to make them there, but not there, sad, but not sorrowful, a part of me, but not evident, releasing the pain, not the loss. That, too, is a new possibility, of accepting some things that I cannot change, but not letting that prevent me from moving forward, from opening my life to new possibilities.

Master the possibilities--master the challenge--possibilities open up when we jettison those things that are lost. I'm not waiting for these possibilities to come and find me. I'm going out to find them. Life is in here, but it's also out there, bring me that horizon!